From our mother’s womb through our teen years, we are compared to our peers. During pregnancy the belly of your mother is measured at her visits. The doctor compares the progress of the pregnancy to the progress of other women to determine health and other factors. In school we are compared to our peers for placement. Many factors are included, your date of birth, your home address, your comprehension of some basics and maybe even if you are toilet trained. When certain progress or understanding has not been demonstrated you could be left back or additional supports are put in place.
I understand why comparison, when used correctly can be a helpful strategy, I can also see where it can be harmful. At what point do we stop comparing ourselves to someone else. We can end up developing a spirit of being entitled, jealous, envious and more because we don’t have what others have. These different spirits lead us to behaviors that cause us to harm others, steal, cheat and lie. Is there something you want right now but someone else, has it? How about not wanting to experience some of the challenges you are, and you would like to have what appears to be their stress-free life?
I have come to understand in my decades of living that what is for me is mine and will not be as fruitful in the hands of another. I can recognize the actions of others who are coveting what is mine. I no longer want my friends to tag along! Why? Because they cannot go where I go! There are some things in life you will have to face in solitude and away from all things familiar. A part of our growth requires separation from people we are comfortable with, habits we are comfortable with and items we are comfortable with. What are you comfortable with that is preventing you from growing beyond being uncomfortable? Holding on to something or someone too long becomes hoarding. If you know what hoarding is, it is a messy situation, looks a mess, smells a mess and things are lost in the chaos. What are you hoarding? If you don’t like the word hoarding, then what are you trying to control?
Let go when you are supposed to let go! Stop focusing on what others have and are doing! They can’t go where you go!
-Dr. K